I'm not sure I could do it again.

The word "dating" scares me. It's not that I haven't had my fair share of dating or that it didn't end well for me. What scares me is how it has changed in the three (almost four) years I have been with my Dave.

When I was dating, I tried all of the different avenues that are now considered "old-fashioned" thanks to the advent of the internet. I sat in coffee shops, I played intra-mural sports, I joined a running club, and I even went out on a blind date arranged by my grandmother. These avenues were all pretty successful, but then I was in my early twenties and I think that makes it A LOT easier to date.

Now I am approaching thirty, and the rules have changed. There is now Match.com, eHarmony, Craigslist, Nerve.com...and even Myspace, where you create a packaged you to try and "sell" to potential "buyers." It's bad enough that you can't be completely yourself during the process of trying to find a job, but now you have to create what's basically a resume in order to find someone that will date you?

I actually tried Match.com and it was a painful, albeit brief experience. I met some guys who were just messed up in the head. The two that I dated from the web had lists of deal breakers that were so detailed that I was sure to fail their idea of the perfect mate. My own list of deal breakers was short and sweet by comparison: likes coffee, likes the beach, likes kids, has a good relationship with his mom, likes dogs and cats, reads, looks good in a stetson, can hold a conversation, is not an alcoholic, is not addicted to sports or television.

Nowadays I think that guys have too many options. Guys just assume they have an unlimited supply of girls to "choose from" and want to constantly keep their options open.

I dated a guy for a whole year before we had the "exclusive" talk and he actually told me we should see other people, but keep dating - and sleeping with, mind you - each other. So I did...I immediately went and found another guy to date and introduced the two of them. They were okay with it because they both didn't want to commit. Needless to say, I dumped both of them. The guy who wanted to "see other people, but keep dating each other" showed up at my mom's house last month to ask about me...SIX years later. Guess he's finally ready to commit, LOL!

There are women of my generation who, thanks to shows like "Sex in the City," embrace the lifestyle the guy who dated me wanted me to embrace. What happen to our values as a society? When did we start valuing ourselves above all else? We have become a society that is so used to having our every impulsive need want met, that we don't have the patience for others.

I had a single friend tell me that a guy she is seeing told her that they needed to "talk long and hard" about what it would take for him to see her exclusively. He said that being exclusive was hard work. Warning bells began going off in her head and she asked me for advice. Of course, exclusivity is hard work. It requires a certain amount of self-control, which less mature people seem to lack. You have to control your natural inclination to flirt. You have to control your emotions in terms of blowing up over little shit. You have to control your desire for excitement and adventure with the knowledge that there is security and comfort in being with the same person for any length of time. You become more of a team and it's less about you. But there are times when that teamwork is crucial, when having someone else shoulder just a little bit of the crap that life deals out is the only thing that keeps you going...the only thing that allows you to make it through the day.

Things have definitely changed and I am so glad that I am no longer in the dating trenches. I really don't think I could do it again.