On Thursday, I left behind a week's worth of rain for a much needed beach vacation. I joined Jen, Traci, and Michelle at Grayton Beach for five days and four nights of sun and sea salt on our skin. There was laughter, shopping, good drinks, even better food and the best kind of relaxation. Nowhere to be, nothing to worry about. Five days to let go and allow the sun to melt away whatever worries I may have been carrying. I came back yesterday, leaving summer behind, coming home to Halloween decorations up on the house, a chill in the air. And a restlessness that tells me that something good is coming, if only I have the courage and determination to go for it. There are too many paths to choose, but I'm ready to pick one and run toward the future, without looking back. It's amazing how much clearer things become when you stop staring at them for a little while.
Since I'm feeling both hopeful and nostalgic, I'll leave you with a few memories made in the salty air:
-Just a short walk down a flight of stairs to sand, shoes not required, to a beach viewable from our window
-Floppy brimmed hats being swept off by waves
-Shimmering trails of greenish light left behind by twirling arms and uncovered skin
-Swimming in moonlight, waves, and so many stars you could just drown by looking at them
-Hushed laughter and futile attempts to rid ourselves of too much sand, a consequence of too much drink and just enough fun
-Conversations with strangers who act more welcoming than some friends
-Music and rain and the feeling that all is right with the world, if only we'd slow down enough to realize it
The end of summer
Solitude and catharsis
1. I had lunch with a couple of my former coworkers today. It was nice, but I'm beginning to get the feeling that it is time to move on. Out of respect for my feelings (I think), they don't bring up work all that much. So I have to. And then it gets a little awkward. Because, really? Why should I still care? I am trying not to, but it's hard when you're the one who was dumped. I'd much rather have done the dumping. I took all of my work shirts to Goodwill yesterday, so that felt a little cathartic. I miss the routine, though.
2. I've been in a weird place lately where I am wanting to just stay inside myself and not let the world in. I am experiencing a lot of introspection and I'm glad Dave has been working the night shift this week, because I've really enjoyed the solitude. I'm trying not to wallow or shut myself off from the world too much, but in a way, this break from the world has been nice.
3. Have I mentioned that I'll be pet sitting for my grandparents at the end of the month? They live outside of Panama City and a few girlfriends are joining me for a weekend of fun, sun, and dog kisses. I've been laying out in the yard, trying to get a little sun on my oh-so-pale skin. I can't wait; I am really looking forward to getting away and seeing my friends and my favorite ocean once again.
4. The house next door finally sold. Dave and I were going to make an offer and fix it up ourselves to resell, but then I lost my job. So we let that idea go. It's neat watching all the work that's being done, but I really wish they would start work at a reasonable hour. Waking up to the sound of hammers at 7 am is never fun.
5. I had a salad from the garden for dinner. Salads are a lot more appetizing to me lately, probably because I don't want all of the veggies we've planted to go to waste. Stuff I used from the garden: 2 kinds of lettuce, spinach, and cilantro. Stuff purchased: tomatoes (ours aren't ripe enough yet), red onion, raisins, almond slices, fresh parmesan cheese, strawberries, olive oil and balsamic vinegar.
6. Gray cat has been looking pitiful lately. I think he has feline leukemia, which breaks my heart a little bit. I think I should take him in to be put down, but I just haven't been able to do it. He's still eating well, but he's not fixed and I'd hate to think he's spreading his disease throughout the neighborhood. Poor cat.
7. I've been waiting to walk the dogs until late in the evening because it's been so hot recently. It's about that time, so I'd better get to it. I hope we see a bunch more lightning bugs today.
