Because I am not smarter than a Fifth Grader

I have been busy! (and lazy) And that is why there has been no updating.

We had a Chinese businessman and his translator visit at work last week. And we decided it would be a nice gesture to offer them tea while they were here. So I went shopping for a teapot.

Have you ever tried shopping for one specific item that you know you have seen almost everywhere you have shopped in the past, but when you actually need to purchase said item yourself, it becomes elusive? That's exactly what happened.

After hours of searching, I finally found a beautiful tea set in Pier One, along with matching platters that I just had to have. And you know what? No visitors drank any tea.

This weekend, I rested. I was beginning to get a little weary from all of the traveling and excitement that has been occurring in my life lately. So I decided to try and do As Little As Possible this weekend. I think I may have been relatively successful! Dave and I had a nice day Saturday, driving around the area where we live and trying to find boutiques with handmade goods. We failed on that count, though we did discover a plethora of junk at a couple of antique shops. We were competing to find the weirdest thing and I really regret not having brought my camera, because those places are treasure troves for the Strange and Bizarre. I found a published book called something like "A Book About My Cat" where you actually fill in the pages with facts about your cat. Like a baby book. There were places for pictures and even a place for a little bit of fur. It was very disturbing. We found insect candle holders that you hang on the wall, a pillow with a picture of a pug's head on a human body that was dressed like Louis XIV, a religious painting depicting heaven and hell as two opposite worlds bridged by a cross. We may have to go back just for documenting purposes. My brain got too full after a while so we decided to head home. Dave played more of his favorite video game while talking to himself and occasionally yelling at his virtual persona, while I lounged on the couch and read one of my sex books. (That's what Dave calls the romance novels I enjoy reading.)

Sunday, we headed to an open area near Dave's gym where he likes to practice throwing his heavy Scottish-Highland-Games-Competition weights. I do not usually accompany him, but he said he needed "coaching" and he also wanted me to film him so he could see what he was doing wrong. He is very hard to coach because he wants to be perfect and he gets So Angry when he is not. And he yells at himself. But I think progress was made, though I suggested that he start filming himself every time. We need to get a camcorder and a tripod so he can set it up near him and just record his entire practice. And I can stay home.

Last night, we played some of our new game on the XBox. It is the Simpsons Game and it is muy raro. Each character has a separate skill set and you have to work together to complete the levels. At the end, it shows the time it took us to complete the level along with the time it "should" have taken. I think my favorite was when it took us 53 minutes to complete a level that "should" have taken 8. We have decided it is because we are OLD. And this game was written at a 5th grade level. Therefore, as Jeff Foxworthy would point out, Dave and I combined are not smarter than a fifth grader.