Solitude and catharsis



1. I had lunch with a couple of my former coworkers today. It was nice, but I'm beginning to get the feeling that it is time to move on. Out of respect for my feelings (I think), they don't bring up work all that much. So I have to. And then it gets a little awkward. Because, really? Why should I still care? I am trying not to, but it's hard when you're the one who was dumped. I'd much rather have done the dumping. I took all of my work shirts to Goodwill yesterday, so that felt a little cathartic. I miss the routine, though.

2. I've been in a weird place lately where I am wanting to just stay inside myself and not let the world in. I am experiencing a lot of introspection and I'm glad Dave has been working the night shift this week, because I've really enjoyed the solitude. I'm trying not to wallow or shut myself off from the world too much, but in a way, this break from the world has been nice.

3. Have I mentioned that I'll be pet sitting for my grandparents at the end of the month? They live outside of Panama City and a few girlfriends are joining me for a weekend of fun, sun, and dog kisses. I've been laying out in the yard, trying to get a little sun on my oh-so-pale skin. I can't wait; I am really looking forward to getting away and seeing my friends and my favorite ocean once again.

4. The house next door finally sold. Dave and I were going to make an offer and fix it up ourselves to resell, but then I lost my job. So we let that idea go. It's neat watching all the work that's being done, but I really wish they would start work at a reasonable hour. Waking up to the sound of hammers at 7 am is never fun.

5. I had a salad from the garden for dinner. Salads are a lot more appetizing to me lately, probably because I don't want all of the veggies we've planted to go to waste. Stuff I used from the garden: 2 kinds of lettuce, spinach, and cilantro. Stuff purchased: tomatoes (ours aren't ripe enough yet), red onion, raisins, almond slices, fresh parmesan cheese, strawberries, olive oil and balsamic vinegar.

6. Gray cat has been looking pitiful lately. I think he has feline leukemia, which breaks my heart a little bit. I think I should take him in to be put down, but I just haven't been able to do it. He's still eating well, but he's not fixed and I'd hate to think he's spreading his disease throughout the neighborhood. Poor cat.

7. I've been waiting to walk the dogs until late in the evening because it's been so hot recently. It's about that time, so I'd better get to it. I hope we see a bunch more lightning bugs today.

I just drive him around and let him bark



1. I spent the last two days weeding the garden and I have the dirt under my fingernails to prove it. So far, I have eaten 2 salads containing items grown right in my own yard. I admit I am a tiny bit impressed with myself.

2. It’s officially summer. I know this because the lightning bugs are out in full force. I noticed them while walking the dogs around the neighborhood this evening. Watching them makes me smile. The bugs,not the dogs.

3. Ever since I lost my job 21 days ago, I’ve been trying to exercise more. I actually have more energy and am a lot calmer than I was when I was working. I wish I didn’t have the nagging worry about money, though.

4. I made fish tacos for dinner that were quite delicious, so delicious in fact that I ate way too much. I’ve been cooking more lately (see number 3) and I am not hating it nearly as much as I used to.

5. While on our walk, Kaylee, Prue and I noticed a truck driving around the neighborhood with a dog in the back. The dog was barking barking barking and the driver was driving really slow. I admit I was slightly curious and may have stared a bit, so as the truck was passing us, the driver stopped and told me: “I should do it like you, but I’ve gotten lazy. I just drive him around and let him bark.” I still get a chuckle thinking of that man driving his dog around.

6. My life is at a crossroads right now. I have so many options available to me and I really don’t know what to choose. I am hoping that fate will soon take the decision out of my hands. Though my thinking that I am in charge of my life is probably a little naive. I just hate limbo; I need to be pointed in a direction soon. Do you hear me, Fate?

7. All of a sudden, I am craving sangria. It’s a good thing I picked up a bottle at the store today.